The logistics of it all

         Obviously, Monday has come and gone. And unfortunately, I have no significant update to share. Induction was not discussed any further, so as far as I know, that is no longer an active consideration. Even though forcing a baby to be born before her (or his) due date is less than ideal, having an induction date on the calendar to work with would have made our lives much easier. Without that, the logistics of this last month become very complicated.

Update & prayer request

         These past few weeks have been filled with waiting, but that may be drawing to a close. Anne met with a specialist today to talk about setting an induction date. She has remained ill for her entire pregnancy, and things with her health are getting to the point that it would be safer for Baby Girl to be born early and have the risks associated with a 5 week (or less) prematurity than to have the risks of remaining in such a sick body for much longer.

Unexpected expenses

   The reality of adoption is that it is unpredictable. Every situation is different. Every agency handles expenses differently. So, this post may not ever be helpful to anyone, but here is what is going on with us right now.

How big of a part of my identity will this become?

     I've spent the better part of about 3 hours today reading through another adoptive family's blog and Facebook page out of sheer fascination by their story. Going through this process-- this strange, amazing, surreal process-- is somehow eased by reading the stories of others who have walked the same path before you. I know that is why this blog has gotten somewhat popular. It isn't because our story is particularly captivating in the big scheme of things. It isn't because I am an amazingly talented writer. It isn't because I have any clue what I am doing here! It is because this can feel like a lonely path. It is because when you keep getting invitations to baby showers and see baby bump pictures everywhere, it helps to know that there really are other people who are growing their family through adoption. The happy stories give you hope. The sad stories give you a reality check. The ongoing stories give you a feeling of companionship, which is wildly bizarre given that you will likely never be "companions" with that other family in real life.

Visit with Anne

      Last week we traveled to meet Anne and Ben, and it was a wonderful experience. Since we had previous phone conversations, we knew that we were comfortable talking to each other and had some foundation for what to talk about. There was some nervousness, which is understandable since there isn't any set social protocol for meeting the woman who is planning to entrust you with her child.

Preparing to meet Anne

      Tomorrow we will be traveling across several states to spend a couple of days with Anne (and hopefully Ben, but that is still up in the air). Today, our case worker called to give us a head's up about what to expect and what some of the rules are. Before I summarize what she said, though, I want to point out that the format of how this is happening with us is very unique compared to the usual agency/lawyer policies. So, here are how meetings usually go:

2nd Conversation with Anne

        One thing that our caseworker had told us in the very beginning was to not read too much into a skipped phone call or missed doctor's appointment. After all, if this is a woman whose life is in such turmoil that she feels like she is unable to parent, how reasonable is it to expect that she will always be available to answer her phone at a set day and time? But, nonetheless, when Anne's social worker was not able to get in touch with her for our phone call Friday, there was a part of me that began to worry. Did I say something wrong last time? Did I word something poorly in the card that I sent her? Has she changed her mind? Did something happen to the baby? It was ridiculous, and just as our caseworker had said, it meant nothing. Anne was very sick that morning (she's had the same bad luck as I did when it comes to being one of the few who has morning sickness their entire pregnancy!) and hadn't thought about calling to cancel, and when she was finally able to fall back to sleep she didn't wake up when her phone rang in the other room. The point in opening this post with that story is to verify that sometimes a missed phone call is nothing more than a missed phone call. I think that we all hear so many stories of disrupted adoptions that it is easy to get worried over nothing.