Saturday, November 28, 2015

The logistics of it all

         Obviously, Monday has come and gone. And unfortunately, I have no significant update to share. Induction was not discussed any further, so as far as I know, that is no longer an active consideration. Even though forcing a baby to be born before her (or his) due date is less than ideal, having an induction date on the calendar to work with would have made our lives much easier. Without that, the logistics of this last month become very complicated.

         Anne lives on the other side of the country from us. If we were to get into the car and drive to her, it would take about 3 days.  There are no direct flights from our city to hers, so if we were to get a call that she was in labor any later than about 3:00 in the afternoon, it would take over 24 hours for us to be able to get to her. She only labored with her last child for 3-4 hours before giving birth, so there would simply be no possible way for us to make it to her in time for the baby to be born. But she wants me to be in the delivery room, and I (of course) would like to be in there.
      On top of that, her due date really is not in any way a reliable estimate of when she will go into labor. Her last baby was born about 2 1/2 weeks early. She has already gone into labor once, but they were able to stop it with medication. One of the medications she is on is strongly correlated with early delivery. Basically, we have no reason whatsoever to think that this baby will actually wait until the last week of December to be born.
      If Baby Girl was due at any time other than the week after Christmas, none of this would be a problem. Our hometown (where both of our families live) is only an 11-12 hour drive from Anne-- still not ideal, but better than where we live now. I have actually been staying with family for the past couple of weeks since my hubby had to work on Thanksgiving this year and there had been talk of induction. But we are kind of stuck when it comes to planning where to go from here. My husband has incredibly limited vacation time, so he can't just come up here and wait with me. If there wasn't our anniversary, our son's birthday, and Christmas between now and then, we would just suck it up and I would stay here with our son and we would miss each other and deal with it. At this point, the plan is for me to fly back to visit, but then return here (hometown, not current town) in two weeks to be closer to where we need to be when we get the call that Anne is in labor.
    But figuring out these logistics has been one of the most stressful parts of this whole process. I wouldn't go as far as to say that I wouldn't do another adoption if the bio-mom lived across the country, but I do think that we would take into consideration where she lived in relation to her due date and her birth plan. The best option would be if my son and I could just rent a place in the city where Anne lives so that I could be 10 minutes away for when she goes into labor, and my husband could join us as his time off allows (and then when Anne is in labor, of course). But then we would be apart for Christmas. And that would be expensive. So really, that is actually only a good plan on the very surface, but not when any of the details of reality are considered.
   So here we sit. I'm really hoping Anne does not go into labor during the 2 weeks I am back home with my husband. I'm really hoping I don't have to make a gamble about if I want to go back home for Christmas to be with him or stay close for when Anne goes into labor (even though I would be shocked if Baby Girl wasn't born by Christmas).  And writing this out makes me realize how petty all of these concerns are. As long as she is healthy. As long as Anne makes a decision she is at peace with. As long as we all emerge from this situation better for it all. Anything else, all of the other noise and detail and stress, we can handle.

No comments:

Post a Comment