Visit with Anne

      Last week we traveled to meet Anne and Ben, and it was a wonderful experience. Since we had previous phone conversations, we knew that we were comfortable talking to each other and had some foundation for what to talk about. There was some nervousness, which is understandable since there isn't any set social protocol for meeting the woman who is planning to entrust you with her child.

Preparing to meet Anne

      Tomorrow we will be traveling across several states to spend a couple of days with Anne (and hopefully Ben, but that is still up in the air). Today, our case worker called to give us a head's up about what to expect and what some of the rules are. Before I summarize what she said, though, I want to point out that the format of how this is happening with us is very unique compared to the usual agency/lawyer policies. So, here are how meetings usually go:

2nd Conversation with Anne

        One thing that our caseworker had told us in the very beginning was to not read too much into a skipped phone call or missed doctor's appointment. After all, if this is a woman whose life is in such turmoil that she feels like she is unable to parent, how reasonable is it to expect that she will always be available to answer her phone at a set day and time? But, nonetheless, when Anne's social worker was not able to get in touch with her for our phone call Friday, there was a part of me that began to worry. Did I say something wrong last time? Did I word something poorly in the card that I sent her? Has she changed her mind? Did something happen to the baby? It was ridiculous, and just as our caseworker had said, it meant nothing. Anne was very sick that morning (she's had the same bad luck as I did when it comes to being one of the few who has morning sickness their entire pregnancy!) and hadn't thought about calling to cancel, and when she was finally able to fall back to sleep she didn't wake up when her phone rang in the other room. The point in opening this post with that story is to verify that sometimes a missed phone call is nothing more than a missed phone call. I think that we all hear so many stories of disrupted adoptions that it is easy to get worried over nothing.

1st conversation with Anne

     Wednesday was one of the most nerve wracking days of this whole process: we had our first phone call with Anne. I guess that I can't say "we"-- hubby was supposed to be available for the call, but he got called into a last minute emergency surgery that was a life or death situation for one of his patients. That isn't exactly the type of thing that he is able to just opt out of, so it ended up being just me talking to Anne. She was very understanding, and said that it had actually worked out well that she and I got a chance to talk one-on-one and it helped her to be a bit less nervous.