tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5258262485760542880.post6991659444314583695..comments2024-02-26T04:06:55.128-08:00Comments on When the Stork Gets Confused: <br> What to Expect when You're Adopting: About the Title-- "Confused Stork" Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03988211773200305175noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5258262485760542880.post-20275272771662663442015-02-28T08:51:02.049-08:002015-02-28T08:51:02.049-08:00Thank you so much for sharing your perspective! I ...Thank you so much for sharing your perspective! I have been trying to read as many adoptee blogs as I can to get a sense of how different people have felt about their open adoption experience. What you have said gets right to the point of the issue that we have found in trying to "plan" what our adoption might look like: every adoption is different. There are so many human elements involved that a situation that works well for one family can be a disaster for another, and vice versa. There really is no way for us to fully plan what this is going to look like, because we just don't know what the dynamics are going to be. <br /><br />Being very private people, you hit on one of the things that has been of concern for us: we ARE placing a massive amount of trust in someone we don't know. I guess that our perspective right now is that we are entering this acknowledging that the same is true going the other direction-- the bioparents are placing a massive amount of trust in us, as well, in entrusting us to raise their child in the way that they desire him/her to be raised that, for some reason or another, they cannot provide themselves. We have talked about the possibility that if the open adoption arrangement should ever come to a place that it is not healthy for the child or our family dynamic, we will have to re-evaluate. We are willing to be in a situation that is uncomfortable for us, but if it ever moves from uncomfortable to unhealthy, we will definitely seek to modify things in a way that places the child's well-being first. <br /><br />Thank you so much for your comment! Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03988211773200305175noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5258262485760542880.post-71112866768809220262015-02-26T14:25:25.640-08:002015-02-26T14:25:25.640-08:00I'm very happy to have found this blog - it ha...I'm very happy to have found this blog - it has tons of very useful information! I personally interpreted the title in the way that some people found offensive, but I personally didn't take any offense at all and found it clever. I actually prefer that meaning, but hey, everyone is different!<br /><br />I do want to provide you with a few words of caution however - I was adopted, along with my sister, when I was a baby and she was about 2 years old. Our parents always allowed our "biomom", as you say, to be a part of our lives, and it ended up DESTROYING our family in many unforseen ways. By allowing a child to have what amounts to two parents, it can create a very confusing situation for the child (I know this from experience!) and can cause a lifetime of heartache for both the biomom and the adoptive parents. You are putting a massive amount of trust in someone to let them play a role like that in your child's life. Just my two cents - I wish you the best in your adoption and a lifetime of happiness with your children! :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com