tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5258262485760542880.post5429794277565094218..comments2024-02-26T04:06:55.128-08:00Comments on When the Stork Gets Confused: <br> What to Expect when You're Adopting: Visit with AnneJesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03988211773200305175noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5258262485760542880.post-17350994462704977592016-07-29T14:42:29.610-07:002016-07-29T14:42:29.610-07:00Hi CJ! Whether or not your gender preference infl...Hi CJ! Whether or not your gender preference influences whether your wait will be longer really depends on how your agency handles matching. If your agency invites any interested PAP to submit profiles for specific cases, it is simply a matter of when a bio mom decides you are a good fit-- having a specific gender preference wouldn't necessarily increase your timeline unless your agency tends to match before knowing gender. I did a post on the various methods of matching here: http://whenthestorkgetsconfused.blogspot.com/2015/07/methods-of-matching-and-allowing-for-it.html You can also keep an eye on the "available situation" posts (that is how we matched with Anne), which I listed here: http://whenthestorkgetsconfused.blogspot.com/2016/01/availablesituations.html I have known families who had a gender preference, and in those specific situations, they did not have a longer wait than average. But again, it just depends on how your agency handles matching. <br /><br />I haven't really gone through the research on discussing adoption preparations with older children, but I do know families who have gone through a similar process in becoming foster parents. What they did (and the advice they got from other foster and adopting families) was to wait until they were further into the process and a child coming into their home was more imminent. If it were me (and this is just my personal feeling-- I don't have any research to back this up), I would wait until we were matched. It may be hard for them to understand the long wait (especially if it stretches out into years), and the ups and downs of applying for situations that you may not end up matching with. Think about it similarly to if you were going to become pregnant again. Would you tell them that you were trying to have another baby, knowing that it could be a couple of years before it happened? Or, would you wait until you were pregnant? I don't think that there is a right or wrong answer, you just have to figure out what feels right to you and your family dynamic, and the maturity of your children in terms of how well they would process everything. <br /><br />Best of luck! Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03988211773200305175noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5258262485760542880.post-69196935124978761962016-07-29T13:50:46.997-07:002016-07-29T13:50:46.997-07:00Hi Jess. Congrautlations, your story is so inspiri...Hi Jess. Congrautlations, your story is so inspiring. I am a mom of two boys and have decided (for infertility and other reasons) to start the process of adoption. We are using an adoption agency in North Carolina for a domestic adoption. We are specifically waiting for a baby girl which our agency has informed us will make our wait longer. Do you know of people who had a specific gender in mind when adopting? And I know you had a young child when adopting- mine are old enough to understand adoption (7 and 9) so I wonder when I should talk explicitly to them about starting this process (considering I'm afraid it might be YEARS before we are matched and God willing, successful?) Just wondered what your thoughts were since you seem so on top of everything and had a good adoption experience. Thank you! CJCJOKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13385888239964112826noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5258262485760542880.post-3182967790109334532015-11-06T11:45:26.203-08:002015-11-06T11:45:26.203-08:00Also, good luck with your journey to parenthood, a...Also, good luck with your journey to parenthood, as well! I never had to go through fertility treatment, but I know how stressful and physically uncomfortable it can be. Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03988211773200305175noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5258262485760542880.post-53180587742406906942015-11-06T11:42:53.838-08:002015-11-06T11:42:53.838-08:00Thanks-- glad you have been enjoying reading! We a...Thanks-- glad you have been enjoying reading! We are in that waiting period where there really aren't any interesting updates to share. During our initial phone calls and visit, we learned the things about each other that we were wanting to know. We are all comfortable with each other and with how we are envisioning our relationships looking in the future. Anne and I exchange a text message here and there occasionally, and I email her case worker about once a week for updates about how she has been feeling and to see if anything significant has been said at her latest doctor appointment. Basically, we are just waiting for the baby to be born! :) Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03988211773200305175noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5258262485760542880.post-28517335497204568502015-11-06T08:22:04.880-08:002015-11-06T08:22:04.880-08:00Hi! I just wanted you know I stumbled on your blog...Hi! I just wanted you know I stumbled on your blog last month and went back to read every post. :) I've been checking back for updates and was wondering how everything was going!<br /><br />We are not in the process of adoption, although it's something I've been obsessively researching (my nature lol - hubby is lightyears away from considering it since he's a "take things as they come" kinda guy). We're still in the middle of the TTC/infertility treatments and will know in a month or two whether we've hit the wall where we need to make a decision one way or another. I just wanted to send good vibes your way - I really love reading about your journey, and the way you write it and share research/information. Good luck with everything, hope to see another update soon!<br />SPH on the East Coasthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18420006760049972846noreply@blogger.com